Maid of Honor problems resolved

Maya had the day off today, so I called and asked if I could come over after school so I could talk to her. She said she was sick and didn't feel like getting out of bed. I wanted to ask her about all the wedding stuff. She is making everything difficult. She doesn't want to wear a bridesmaid dress, and keeps complaining about colors and frankly I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of everyone bailing on me..etc. So she said that if I forced her to buy a dress she would as long as it wasn't super expensive. I don't know what she means by super expensive since most of the dresses are $150. So she's still going to be in the wedding.. which is good. So I can stop worrying that I have to find someone else to be maid of honor. So now I need to ask one more person. I haven't really decided on who yet.

Aaron has 4 groomsmen. I have 3 bridesmaids so far. I have a couple of people I want to ask. I was thinking well who cares if I'm lopsided, I'll just ask them all and have a bigger side than Aaron... but then again, I've already padded Aaron's side with my brother and my friend Andy. I could pad it with one more - my sisters husband. This would 1. Get my sister off my back about including Mitch and 2. irritate my mom to high heaven. So the party would be up to 5 total for Aaron's side.

I could ask Christian, but I know she wouldn't be able to afford the dress. I kind of want to ask Kerry since she's been really involved with everything - esp dress shopping with me - but her best friend Chrissie is also my friend and I think she might feel left out ..etc. I was thinking of maybe asking Kerry to do a reading or having them be the candle lighters for the unity candle. I know its traditionally the mothers, but Aaron doesn't have one and my mom isn't coming, so... thats out.

On Saturday, I'm going dress shopping again to take a better picture of the last dress.

I've found some people to go with me... so Yay. I just needed to expand the people I asked. Rachel moved to San Leandro, so she's not too too far from the shop, we'd pick her up on the way and Manjit lives in Sunnyvale now (near SJ) and Kerry is driving down from Sacramento to go. So yay. Lots of people to go. That makes me happy. So happy.

Yay!

So I am soooo super excited!

I know everyone keeps flaking on me when it comes to dress shopping.

After Liv flaked on me for dress shopping on Saturday, I sent a mass email to some of my friends asking if anyone wanted to go. I expected 1 person, what I got was 3!!! I am so excited. Its so hard to get people to even consider going. Its like I'm asking them to go get a root canal...

I just talked to Rachel tonight and made plans about where to meet her. I'm getting more excited as the days go by. I can't wait.

I think I'm going to try on some extra dresses, just to make sure what I want, and get some opinions. Maybe I'll see if I can make an appointment at another shop too. yay

TV makes everything look simple

So I was watching Brothers & Sisters - I love that show.

So Kitty (Calista Flockhart) is getting married. She's with her sisters bridesmaid dress shopping and she looks up walks over to a rack and is like - This is the one! I love this dress. Without trying it on or anything. Then she goes back a few days later and its magically on the clearance rack.. and she buys it.

Yeah. Thats TV for you. I've been looking since MAY. Its NOVEMBER. I still have not had that moment where I'm like OMG this is THE dress. I like some dresses. I even love two dresses, but then I start picking it apart. I like this but I dont like this..etc.

Augh..

If only life was as easy as TV is sometimes

cake .. check ... caterer.. check!

Aaron and I booked our baker yesterday. We were going to drop off our catering check too, but when I called to make sure the owners were at the restaurant, they told us not to. One of the owners said they would prefer to get the deposit after the first of the year. I know that the cost won't change because we've already got our proposal and everything for cost. They said its for bookkeeping, which kind of makes sense. If our wedding is in 08, it might be easier to do keep everything together in 08. They are just really laid back. I asked my venue about them and they said they are great, they've been there before and they have never had a problem. So I'm not really worried. I know they are probably really busy because they are opening a new bigger restaurant in town soon. So they probably have a lot going on.

Anyways, so we booked our cake yesterday. I didn't put in the design yet, I forgot pictures. I am thinking that these are pretty:

I can't decide what I want.. There are so many pretty ones out there. I probably have another billion pictures saved too. I don't know if we want square or round. I know that its going to be stacked and not on tiers/columns because:

1. I don't like those column things
2. I don't want to spend the extra money to get something (flowers/ribbons) to hide those column things.

I like how the stacked ones look in the pictures.

Bending the rules

I really liked that last dress I tried on at Bay Area Bridal.. but that stupid no picture rule.

So I called them today because my sister asked if I had anymore pictures... and I didn't. I think its a ridiculous rule that you can't take pictures anyway. So I thought I'd call and see if they would let me take pictures of me in the dress.. of this one dress because I'll probably end up buying it through them anyway, considering I can't find a shop online that sells it. Its only $660. So its not too bad over budget. My sister did say she wasn't going to argue with me over $100. So really its only $60 over budget. Anyway, I think she might buy it because she really likes it too... but I kind of would like more pictures of me instead of the ones with my head cut off holding the dress up so it doesn't fall off..etc.

They said they would make an exception if it was just that one dress. So I said okay. So I want to make another appointment but I can't get a hold of Liv...

Dress shopping

A day of dress shopping..

Liv and I met up in San Jose and went dress shopping at Bay Area Bridal in San Jose. I guess I got the time wrong because the place didn't open until 12:30 and we got there at 11:30. I got there at 11:30 but Liv got lost. My consultant wasn't there, but, Liv got me into the first dress and was able to take a few quick shots in the dressing room. After that, the consultant was there and she wouldnt let Liv help me in the room alone. This was the one we liked best anyways, there was another one.. but we didn't get a picture...

This is the one we got a picture of me in:
#1 - Venus Bridal

Me in the dress - but we hadn't zipped it up yet.. Liv kept getting the zipper stuck, so we had to ask the consultant to help us zip it up. It did get zipped up. If we go up a size so it actually fits, the cleavage will not be as pronounced... but it won't be that much higher.



From the designer website:
Back:

Detail

#2
The dress we didn't get a picture of:



This one didn't fit at all. So it was a little hard to picture. The only thing is the pleats in the front were really pronounced. So that if I turned, they stuck out a lot. It looked all glittery as I walked out of the dressing room though.

Just for reference.. these are the other ones I've tried on:

#3 - ABC Bridal (went out of business) - this is a Davinci dress


#4 - David's Bridal

#5 - Bonny Dress at House of Fashion in Sacramento

#6 - Moonlight Dress at Maxine's Bridal in Stockton

ABC Bridal in Modesto

Yesterday I met one of my Junior High friends for lunch. I haven't seen Melissa in a few years, but we reconnected on myspace. We met at Olive Garden and ate lunch.

Then we went and looked at a wedding shop- J'aime bridal. I tried on a couple of dresses. Including some hideously ugly lace monstrosity that seriously looked like I walked right out of the 80s. Sorry no pictures of that ugly thing. It came complete with the big butt bow... which I didn't see until I had the dress on. The consultant picked it out because it was my size. Thats it. Well it was waay too big.. So not only did I look like a sack of potatoes, I looked ugly. The crinoline she gave me to put on too kept falling down and when she wasn't looking, I slipped out of it and had my friend take it away. My friend was so nice, she found things she liked in all the dresses. Then again she probably didn't want to tell me I looked hideous.

Anyways, so I wanted to show her that dress I liked. We were just down the street from the other shop, ABC Bridal, so I thought we'd stop by there. When I went in before they had it in a bag with my name and number on it. So I was a little freaked out that they thought I was going to buy it when I was really clear that I was just looking. I figured since I hadn't been back since that time, I'd stop by and hope they didn't recognize me...They kept pressuring me to buy the floor model since it fits and everything. Its just that the floor model is still $800, I found it online for $450! for a new one.

well it was CLOSED. The shop was empty. There was stuff all over the floor, and some crinolines were on a rack.. but no one was there. We were looking through the door and we could see ourselves in the mirror in the back of the room.. thats how empty it was. Everything was gone. So I called the number they had on the door and it was just an answering machine. If I had bought my dress there, I would have been hyperventilating. So.. I'm glad that I didn't actually buy that dress.

I can't believe it went out of business in a month!! WTF?!

Wedding doubts

So Aaron has been really confusing me..

He keeps talking about how much the wedding is costing etc, and how broke we're going to be.

So I tell him that we need to stop and think about it before we put down anymore deposits.

We can just get out now before we give up anymore money. I've said that we can cut down on costs by not having food. We can just do some appetizers and have an evening wedding like instead of 5 have it at 7:30 or 8pm.., where the focus will just be the wedding and a dance with cocktails after. If we cut out the food it will take away about $3000. Thats a lot of money. We could definetly tell people that its a cocktail reception.
Or.. we can get married and just have a cake and cocktail reception at the place we're getting married..
Or.. we can just ditch all the deposits and run off to Hawaii and get married... cutting only about half the costs, but at least giving us a honeymoon.

I just think that.. why in the world are we having a wedding when no one really seems that excited about it except for me and Aaron. Aaron's family told us that they wouldnt care if we eloped (and we hadn't even brought it up or anything, which makes me think they sit there and wonder about how much money we are spending and why.. when we can just run away and get married...)
My family .. or at least my mom .. isn't coming because she can't behave herself and doesn't really care if she comes if her friends don't come. My grandma - who fights with my mom all the time - is threatening not to come if my mom doesn't come.
My bridesmaids are all battling over what the dresses will look like, the color..anything. Maya wants a black dress, Donna wants big straps and a long dress.. Jenn wants a brown dress (but she really doesn't care either way)...
All the vendors try to screw people over, but I think we finally found some people that are more affordable.

Nothing we do, seems to please anyone. Everyone seems to find issue with anything we do.

The cake, and the caterer are pretty much in the bag.. leaving the dress.

Oh the dreaded dress.. I was already having a hard time finding a dress, because of size issues, when my sister (who is buying my dress) cut my budget pretty much in half), now Aaron said he'd supplement whatever my sister pays for with what the dress I love costs - within reason. I'm thinking an extra $200-300. Its hard to even get people to go with me to look at dresses. Plus I've already pretty much lost a friend, my family doesn't seem to care and I have to wonder why we are doing this elaborate wedding when no one even cares if we get married here or not.

Vow renewal

Pictures from Maya and Shaun's vow renewal yesterday.

I was her witness aka Maid of Honor. I didn't know that when she was saying witness that I was actually in the ceremony... but I was. I did a reading and I stood by them for the vows, held Shaun's ring for Maya, gave it to the priest for the blessing, held her bouquet..etc. Everything a MOH would do.

I went over to her house a few hours early. I helped her get ready and I got ready myself. Plus I pre-made all the mixed drinks for her in a pitcher, so that they were just pour and serve when the guests got there.

The ceremony was nice. Especially since we got to sit for most of it. :-D

We sat around for about 15 minutes after the ceremony was supposed to start because a lot of guests hadn't arrived yet, finally we just had to begin.

The priest began with a prayer. The one thing I wasn't sure if I was supposed to say, was I noticed the priest would say something, and everyone would say "and also with you". I didn't want to say it if I wasn't supposed to, I figured I wasn't because I wasn't told ahead of time. It was a little weird when I was standing up front with them and the priest said it and everyone up there said it.. except me.

After the blessing. The priest did a really nice talk about marriage. That I really liked. It was all about how love is something that may be here now, but love is something that happens now. It isnt always guaranteed for the future. They talk about time. How marriage is mostly about time. Wanting to put in the time to make a relationship work..

After that, Shaun's best man/witness did a scripture reading and a prayer. After he was done, he gave the book back to the priest. The priest gave the book to me, and I did my reading. It was a letter about how marriage is about fidelity and not about money.

"1 Let brotherly love continue. 2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. 3 Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them; and those who are ill-treated, since you also are in the body. 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterous. 5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have; for he has said, "I will never fail you nor forsake you." 6 Hence we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid; what can man do to me?"
After that, we sat down for another talk. Then we got up for the vows. He asked them some questions about coming freely. Then they did they lords prayer. Afterwards, they did the vows and the blessing of the rings. Then the ring ceremony (they each got new wedding bands). Then the priest, pronounced them as renewing their vows.

Then he said "You may kiss the groom" which I thought was funny.

Afterwards, we mingled a little bit. I signed their certificate and so did his dad. Then I took some pictures on the church steps. We went back to their place for food, drinks and wedding cake. The cake was good. It was a little grainy but the frosting was sooo good.

Here are some pictures:









A couple of things:

The church was so acoustic that the doors banging when late guests came in was really disruptive...

Also I need to remember to pack everything! I forgot my nylons and i had to have Aaron come bring it to me.
and
Maya couldnt find her undergarments, so she just had to wear another strapless bra... we search everywhere for them.

Catering Proposal

Liv called today. We're going to go dress shopping in San Francisco in a couple of weeks. Yay.. Maybe I'll find a dress I love..

Also we are pretty close to booking a caterer. We got a proposal back from Papapavlos, the place we did a tasting at a few weeks ago.

The food was really good and the price seems really good.

It took them awhile to get a proposal to us. I actually had to write a few times to remind them. Today they've answered all my emails back and forth about changing the appetizers listed (they just pulled some of of the air and they weren't really our taste. Also the side dishes weren't what we discussed either. We didn't really have a meeting about what appetizers and stuff we wanted, our tasting was more like free dinner at their restaurant. Which really was nice because we were able to discuss the food pretty openly instead of being stared at.

They don't provide china like we need - but the venue provides it, if we want.

The only thing is they would still have to set it up and clean it up like it was theirs - and they will. So no big deal. As long as they'll stay and help clean up, we don't care where we get the china. A lot of places we talked to wont stay and clean up the china if its not theirs. They want to leave after dinner.

The venue only provides unlimited beer, wine, champagne and cider. We either need to bring the non-alcoholic stuff ourselves or our caterer needs to... or we need to. The caterer I'm talking about normally doesn't do beverages, but they will do them. They sent us the price list and its per soda/water/snapple - 1.25 each.. with a 100 guests and them probably wanting more than one, it could add up pretty quickly.

1.25 x 200 = 250!

I can just imagine it snowballing into a very large bill. Now imagine everyone has 1 drink per hour - 1.25x6x100=750!! just for soda, water and snapple. Thats almost what we are paying for unlimited alcohol.

So I asked if we provided the drinks would they serve them, or we'll just bring them ourselves. Since its not something they normally do, they won't have a clause in their contract about outside food. We're also thinking it might be cheaper to buy a chocolate fountain instead of rent one - they run about 350-500 to rent one for 2 hours run time!

Group Dance?

Maybe we should make our wedding party do something cool so we can get a video to post on youtube..