spoiled brat

I had to go over to my mom's house tonight to drop something off. She totally blew off our Florist Appointment today, even though she was supposed to go. I sat there waiting for her for 15 minutes before we had to start the appointment.

So I get to her house and she starts arguing with me over money.

Then she said that if she can't invite anyone she wants, then she :

1. won't come to the wedding

and

2. won't give us any money.

Well Aaron and I talked it over last night and he said that he was half betting she wouldn't give us the money anyways because she always gets mad at me and threatens to cut me off and etc. So he wasn't really counting on her money anyways - which i thought we were.. but I guess we aren't, and if the guest list goes up all the other stuff will go up too.. like:

We'd need more Chair covers
The Cake costs would go up
We'd need more Favors
We'd need more centerpieces
We'd need more china
We'd need more linens
We'd need more invitations
..etc

and once we factor in all that, her offer of money isn't going to be THAT much and if she doesn't understand that, then whatever...

and if she doesn't want to come to my wedding because she's being a spoiled brat because ALL of her million friends can't come then I'm not going to stress over it. She is NOT going to ruin my wedding like she did my sister's wedding - by throwing a tantrum over every little thing, getting drunk and making a few scenes.

Why can't my mom just be happy for me?!? and try not to stress me out.

guest list issues

So I went to my mom's today so we could work on printing out the Save the Date notices. While I was there, I figured it was the perfect time to talk to her about how much her extra guests were going to cost. I kind of figured that once she saw that each person's food and drink alone was $65.. not including favors, cake ..etc.

So basically she again demanded to know who was on my list. So I said that its my wedding and I want MY friends there. That we were more than happy to give her ONE table of people. Eventhough by doing this she wasn't really giving us $5000 like she keeps saying she is, she is really only giving us $4350... because I never would invite people that I dont know. Plus that doesn't include the other 20 people she wants to invite.. She doesn't really care that those 30 people are costing us $2000.

I didn't show her the guest list because I don't want her going down MY list and crossing MY guests off. She can cross her own guests off.. but not mine.

Then she starts demanding why Aaron's Dad isn't giving us money - like he needs to chip in because SHE wants to invite her entire work. He isn't inviting ANY personal people - except his best friend and his wife. The money is the reason we want a small wedding. We thought we could just double what my mom gave us and we would be okay.. now what she is giving us isnt even going to cover the food and drinks - especially if she keeps inviting people. I am sooo worried that we are going to end up in debt to cover this more elaborate wedding... or we are going to have to cut something out completely.

So as i'm leaving, she hands me a list of 4 more people she just HAS to invite.

Apparently telling her the cost per person, showing her how much we can afford to invite that is within her budget.. she still just doesn't care if we go into debt. In fact she told us that we should just not get flowers or a photographer to cover the cost.

I'm sorry I'd rather have flowers and a photographer than a bunch of people I do not know at my wedding and that don't know me.

In fact when we were printing out the save the date stuff, she looks at it after its already done and at the magnetand says - "this doesn't have my name on it. How will my friends know who you are?"

Well if they dont know who I am... they don't belong at my wedding.

.. I am going to go crazy.

Will no one print them?!

I'm so excited about the inserts. I think they will turn out nice.. but I called my mom and told her that they were ready to be printed. She has a really nice color laser printer. So she said that she didnt want to print them and to find somewhere else.

Because my mom is being all wishy washy about printing these things out for me, I have to find someplace else... Why can't my mom just be helpful for once? Especially since she wants us to invite 10 billion people for her.

I have a print at home invitation kit. I called both Kinko's and Office Max to see how much it was for them to print them, and both places said no. I know I've seen other people who have gotten theirs done at places like that, so I'm wondering where.

Kinko's said they don't print them in-house, they have to send them out and for 50 invites, it would be $100!!

Office Max said they don't print anything smaller than an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper.

I can print them at home, but i thought it would be easier to just take them someplace as some of them are getting stuck in my cheap printer because it rolls the papers around. I need a printer that puts them in one way and they come out the other. I tried to take the back off, but that just made it worse.

I called a specialty printer place, but who knows how much that would be for them to print it. I emailed my layout to them so they can get a better idea. Now I'm just waiting. I think he said he'd get back to me on Monday. I can't believe how hard it is to get places to print these for you.

The guy I talked to on the phone said they get people in there all the time in a panic because the bigger stores won't print them.

I don't see what the big deal is. They aren't even that thick.

Dress Shopping vent

I am having issues with finding and trying on wedding dresses. Yes I have tried on bunches so far. I haven't posted any pictures because

I HATE the way I look in the dresses.

Yes I'm fat. So squeezing into a shops sample sizes look bad on me. How am I supposed to envision how it will look on me when I can barely get it over my hips. It looks BAD. Very BAD. As much as I might love the way it could look, I hate the way it does look. Tight around the belly that has every single bump and imperfection visible even beneath the fabric with rolls visible in the back. Then it squishes in my boobs and makes them look flat and shapeless. As much as I manuvuer and squish and suck in my stomach, it really doesn't do anything for me. Who is really going to go into a shop try on a size that is 10 times too small for them and decide... wow.. I love this dress. I have to have it!!

Now I could have someone else try on the dresses for me.. but why? Whats the point in that. I want to see how it looks on ME not my friend. Not some random person. ME.

Now David's Bridal has dresses in my size that fit and that I can try on, but truthfully... I did try them on, and I didn't really find anything that really interested me. Then again I was only able to try on 5 dresses. 3 of them actually fit. Most of them I tried on just because they were in my size, not because I loved them. Not one of them stuck out as a dress I had to have, even zipped up ..etc. Maybe a fall collection will come out and I'll find something then. But for right now, David's Bridal is pretty much out. I hated all of the dresses.

I kind of like the dresses I tried on at a shop here in town. Their sample sizes go up to a size 20. Well... for anyone who has ever gone wedding shopping, a 20 is about equal to a 14/16. I am not a 14/16. Why couldn't a 20 be equal to *gasp* a 20!! How is that so hard. They don't zip up and they look bad. If they do have sleeves, the sleeves get stuck in places they aren't supposed to be, making the front droop, and the beading looks off if the back is no where near closing.

So tell me this...

how am I supposed to really find a dress that I love, if I can't even try it on?

Why can't they carry sample sizes in the biggest sizes? That way everyone can get into a dress and have it zip up. I think its easier if it zips up and is too big because they can pin it or hold it to fit. Then the dress isn't off or look weird or lopsided.

I am afraid of getting a dress, that I love, but wasn't able to try on. What happens if I get the dress and HATE it on me? That would suck.

Dream dress

My dream dress would have a sweetheart neckline and be chiffon or organza. I don't really think I want a heavy satin dress - maybe I will end up with one though. You never know. Its really hard for me to find a dress because a lot of the dresses don't fit, so i either have to have someone try it on for me, or just hold it up to me. Which sucks.

Something like this:

Two dresses I've liked so far:

I liked this one.. the train was a little plain and it had a drape to one side which kind of bunched up a little bit - but that might have been because it was 10 sizes too small.
I'd add these sleeves to it:

Another one I liked:

What I liked: Gorgeous train, sparkly top but not overly sparkly where it would just be super shiny, very flattering, gives me that princess look but without being puffy or heavy - its super lightweight.
FYI: Its not me modeling the dress. I did try it on, but it looked really small on me, so I couldnt take a picture of the back.. so maya put it on for me.

my mom and the guest list...

Our wedding is in September 2008 (so a whole year away).. however I am having some guest list issues when it comes to my mom.

* Our venue has a minimum guest count of 75 people, so if we have less than that, we pay for the 75 people anyways. We are paying them a set amount per person for an open bar of beer, wine and champagne (its a vineyard so they don't serve hard alcohol).
* Some of the caterers we spoke to require a 100 person minimum and so we figure thats about normal and plan on cutting the list off at 100 because:
a. We can't really afford more than
b. We didn't really want a large wedding anyways. When we first started looking, we kind of thought our guest list would be around 50.. 75 maximum.

That being said, we wouldn't mind going over a little bit over 100, we don't want to be really rigid about it and tell our good friends that they cant come because we are over 100 people.

We are at 126 people right now - that doesn't include children - other than flower girls and ring bearer and no dates for single guests that are from the area and would know tons of other people. This isn't the prom and we aren't paying for dinner for your date that you only have just because you didn't want to come to a wedding alone. If you love us enough, you will come and celebrate with us without bringing a security blanket with you.

So the problem is ... My mom.

My mom is a supervisor at her work and every time I talk to her.. she just has someone else she HAS to invite. She keeps saying, oh well they might not come anyways, but .. seriously what if they do? My sister said, well no one really came to mine so just let her invite whoever and its not worth fighting over so early on.. - her wedding was 8 hours away... mine is seriously 15 minutes.. if that. I'm sure some people won't come, but I think a lot of people from her work might considering its so close, plus we have free food and drinks.

So I told my mom that I really wish that she wouldn't promise that people can go when we don't know if we can afford it

Right now we have 126 people on our guest list.

I want to at least do a A list B list thing, or at least get her to give us more money to pay for the extra people.

I figured she would understand the whole money side of it, because she's the one that told us not to spend that much on just one day.

So she gets all huffy and demands to know who is on our list and how many people his dad is inviting - for the record 0. We have of course his dad's best friend and his wife. Plus his grandparent's best friends/neighbors .. so maybe we say his family's extra people totals: 4.

Then she asked who was on the list, so I said - combined family totals 40 people, plus friends, a few of Aaron's co-workers and some of hers. So she said - Well Aaron (fiance) gets to invite his coworkers, why can't I invite all of mine. Aaron is inviting 4 of his co-workers and their spouses. My mom wants to invite 40 people so far... so when I complained about her guest list before, she crossed off their spouses... which I'm sorry you can't do!

My mom is trying to invite every person she's ever met, plus people who have invited her to their wedding. Like she just went to a wedding and now she wants that guy on our list.

Now I know that its awhile away until we really have to tone down our guest list, i just want her to stop telling people they are invited... That way the A list, B list thing won't be so apparent.

Is that so hard to understand?

I'm going to send our Save the Dates out in a about a month or so for our Sept 08 wedding. The first wave of Save the Dates, will go to close friends, family and out of state friends. We aren't sending them yet to her friends, we'll send them later on.

Save the date inserts

So I think I've figured out something to do with the inserts I want to use for the magnets:
The magnet I'm using here for demonstration purposes is not our magnet. It was my sisters from last year.
This is mine:


First I printed out a bunch of samples with different wording on regular paper so i could just try to figure out what looks best.

So I decided that this sideways design looked nice:

because then I could just attach the magnet on the inside:

However, as the first picture shows, the slits I cut in it, kept ripping. Plus it would take forever to do. So I decided to just fold it in half and I'll just stick the magnet in the middle like its a card. Luckily it fits like a glove into the reply envelopes for the blank RSVP cards that came with the invitation kit. I wasn't planning on using those anyways, so it doesn't matter if I use the big or small envelopes.

Then I thought well it looks a little plain, so I thought maybe we could print our names on the outside (obviously would not be handwritten - which it is here.)

Something like this:

This is the wording I decided on:

Outside:

Inside:

The only thing is ...

I'm not sure about the hearts and other stuff I added to the outside. Maybe it will be okay with just the names. What do you think?.. or should I just leave it flat instead of folding it?

Also what do you think about it saying:
"We hope you can be there"

That was quick

Yay! I checked the UPS tracking number they gave me for the magnets and I got this message:

STOCKTON,CA, US 08/15/2007 6:00 A.M. OUT FOR DELIVERY

Yay!!

Now I guess I'm stuck at home until they get here.

Pictures of our venue

Here are some pictures of the wedding venue we chose - A Vineyard - taken today while they were in the middle of setting up for a wedding. The caterers that are there are the same ones that I talked to today and went over menu options. They said it was a wedding for 80, so we went to look at it since we won't be that much over that amount.

Here are the pictures:

The drive up the driveway:



Tables being set up:


a view of the garden and the arch where we are getting married under:


Another view of the arch from the garden looking out..


Another picture of the garden - there will not be cars parked along the garden that day since we chose to have a garden wedding. They will put up a barrier so that our pictures will be car free:


Another garden picture, the little orange dot is aaron sitting in the garden at one of the tables:


picture of the fountain in the garden:


Tree and sitting area in the middle of the patio. The way the picture is taken: I would be standing on the dance floor looking out at the reception area.


Another picture of the ceremony area/reception area in the back - except we aren't choosing the gazebo area, we are going to do a wedding by the garden arch:




Sweetheart table for two set up in the gazebo with the chandelier above the table:




Aaron standing by the dj booth:


Buffet table being set up. Obviously missing several chafing trays.. and would be sans plastic wrap..


If we choose the caterer I spoke with today, our tables would look like this - sans brown square in the center..


Guest book set up on a table in the garden. I love how they put tablecloths on the stone tables in the garden:


Another view of the set up table (obviously sans chairs) but with their centerpieces of an ivy topiary (provided by the venue at a cost.. not what we would choose):


So.. thats pretty much what I took today.

First tasting

I met with a caterer today to talk about menu, prices, what to expect and services.

Aaron wasn't ready to go when I had to leave to make the appointment, so I left without him. I tried my mom because she was supposed to go, and she didn't answer (or show up). I ended up just taking the leftovers to Maya's house after to have them try it because i wanted a second opinion and i didn't want to take the huge amount of food home because if Aaron couldn't be ready to go, then he didn't deserve such a large portion. Maya and her family liked everything. Then her mom made us lunch called pauf? I dont know, it was a dish she would make back home in Uzbekistan. It was just delicious. Rice, carrots, pot roast and some other spices. Yum Yum. I took some home with me.

Anyways back to the caterer..

This was the original sample menu we were given:

Genova French Bread & Butter
Tossed Green Vinaigrette Salad
A mix of spring mix, head lettuce, and red leaf with our home made vinaigrette dressing
Tomato & Green Bean Trays
A large tray consisting of sliced tomatoes, with a row of poached green beans topped with Feta cheese and lightly Drizzled Vinaigrette
Mushroom Tray-
Seasoned button mushrooms tossed in olive oil and then grilled and served on a bed of red Leaf lettuce.
Baby Red Potatoes
Pee-Wee potatoes boiled and then drizzled with a rosemary garlic butter.
Marinated Chicken Breast
Six ounce chicken breast tenderized and marinated in a Italian vinaigrette then grilled on site.
Marinated Beef
Our Famous Marinated Fillet Mignon Grilled Thinly sliced into small medallions

The appetizers that they do is: Bruschetta and Cajun Prawns

I did ask about a vegetarian option and the owner did say they could do a vegetarian pasta and its $100 more minimum. If we have more than a hundred people, then it goes up a $1 for every person over a hundred.
He did state that he could switch the potatoes with the pasta - but really I think my fiance - who is a meat and potatoes guy - would about have a heart attack.

So anyways, that will probably be the revised menu.

The prices also include all the linens, silverware, china, glasses,Table condiments- Glass salt and pepper shakers, water pitchers, cake cutting fees, passing of all the wines, served meals for all the elderly/disabled guests plus the head table, Coffee Station- Mocha style glass mugs Includes creamers & sugars,Regular & decaf –vienna roast,complete table set up - centerpieces,table numbers, name tags..etc.,serving the wine/champagne,packaging of leftovers, clean-up, They will also help set up any favors, or seating charts etc.

The only thing that bugs me is he doesn't do a contract... so whats to stop him from not showing up. He runs a pretty reputable restaurant in town and he's been on all the preferred vendors lists at all the places I've looked at in the area. So I don't think that anyone has ever had a problem with him. He only does 1 wedding a day (unless he gets an offer he cant pass up... like today, he had two weddings - he had one 80 person wedding, which I went out and photographed, because
1. its at my venue and
2. its around my size. -

and one 350 person wedding. I can understand that he can't pass up a 350 person wedding, and he sent his son out to do the wedding at my venue. His son was perfectly nice and I won't mind if either one of them is there. However, Is there anything I can do to make sure that our confirmation will stand?

What if I went down and asked him just to sign my planner that he's booked to do the wedding next year.

It is next year, so I'm kind of concerned that something will happen and he wont show up. I dont want to wait too long to book him because as I was sitting there one person called him about a month after my wedding at the same venue (I'm getting married Sept 20, 2008 and the person who called was getting married Oct.25,2008). So I know he's getting calls for about the time I'm looking for...

Wedding shopping.. because no one calls me back

A not so successful day of wedding planning..

So while I was out, I figured I would just stop by a few vendors that we need - like florists and caterers.

The first place I stopped by - Papapavlo's Bistro was able to give me a food list - but not prices. Apparently I have to call back and try to catch the owner when he is in. This wasn't even really one of my choices, considering the poor service we've received when visiting the restaurant. We've always gone for lunch and have been left waiting there for about an hour (in an empty restaurant) waiting for food and just being given pita bread (good pita bread.. but who wants to fill up on bread with lunch coming?)... However, I was nearby (2 doors down at a different restaurant) and curious to see how much it was and what the prices were. Its also on my venue's recommended vendor place. So that must mean that they have been pretty good service wise for them to be kept. Anyways, I probably won't call, they didn't seem to be too informative and it took two people to even come out and give me a brochure.

The second place I stopped by was Bud's Seafood - also on my venue's recommended list. We've even there and received great service. The food is yummy. I talked to the owner briefly previously but that was before I knew a date, time, place and what we would need. Now that I know, i want to go into more specifics. They were really nice and said that he wasn't in, but he would call first thing in the morning to set up an appointment. I think this might be our top place. They don't really cater the seafood, but they do beef and chicken like all the other places, except they bring grills and cook it onsite. Not so bbq-ish, but more like a tableside type thing. It sounded good, and I'd like to see pictures etc.

Next I decided to stop by a baker that I heard a horror story about, but I thought I'd just stop by and look around. It is called Bella Baker. Well let me just say that the shop that has had the name on it for a long time and it has the name on the marquee on the street and everything.. just has a big sign on the window that says "coming soon!".. Umm.. its been up there for at least 6 months - maybe more. Plus they were just at a bridal show we went to and they were advertising that as their address. So I was a little perplexed, I poked my head in (the door was open) to see empty bakery displays, a table set up in the front and a pretty vacant place. I didn't really feel welcome to walk in, so I left. Completely weird and if I was already kind of uneasy about them, now I'm really uneasy about them. I doubt this will be the place we go to. I especially don't really appreciate places that won't at least attempt to resolve an issue, and I know it came up with someone else that they were kind of rude once a problem arose.

Next I stopped by a florist and was told I could look through a book and was given a price sheet. No one could answer a few questions because that would require a consultant and the consultant fee was $25. The $25 is waived however if we choose to book with them...that day. I don't know if that is normal or not. The prices seemed reasonable other than the consultant fee. While I was sitting there looking through books, a girl came by and was nice enough to give me an estimate for how much an arch decoration would be.

Next I stopped by another florist and was told I needed an appointment. The next appointment they had available was in 2 months!! What? So I told them that even though my wedding was next year, that I wanted to get as much done before school starts in September and that it would be really hard for me to come in past September until December break. So they were able to move it up to end of August. I think the problem was that they knew my wedding was next year and thought they could push me back and I wouldn't care. I looked through a couple of books. It was a little annoyed that they had open appointments but decided that I wasn't that important and because I was so far off, that they could just do it whenever. Not sure I want to do business with someone like that either. We've used them before and have been pretty satisfied but that was just for valentine's flowers and such.

So I was striking out big time with florists, So I stopped by another florist and the guy behind the counter decided my name was Sweetie... Every other word was sweetie. He was booked up solid til a few weekends from now, but he was really nice and helpful. He made me the first available appointment. So he might be a possibility.

I stopped by the salon where I get my color done. I haven't been in awhile because I decided to dye my hair back to my natural color. So the girl I normally go to wasn't there, so I said I'd call her on her cell phone. The girl at the counter was able to give me some basic pricing - $45-55 for a bridal hairstyle. Which is what I figured it would be.

So that was my day of wedding shopping.. fun fun.

Bridal show recap

There was about 50 vendors there and about 25 of them were venues and djs - which we've already booked. So really we only had about 25 booths to visit, which was okay.

There were three caterers there. One had a chocolate fountain and fruit display to sample. I couldn't get past the crowd and said I'd come back later. There was one lady talking to me, but she didn't seem to want to go into specifics. Another caterer had three samples - a pasta salad, meatballs and a watermelon gazpacho. The pasta salad was made from orzo pasta, so it was a little hard to eat. The meatballs were sooo good. I was interested in them, but they didn't seem too interested in coming down to Lodi. They made it sound like for them to make a trip like that we would pretty much need to have a kitchen available for them to use.. which we don't. I mean maybe we could let them use my moms kitchen?

Augh.. I dont know. See these are things I don't think about. I need someone else around me, who can kick me when I'm totally being an air head and not thinking about the details of pulling it off.

Another caterer there had a sliced potato thing, which was okay, kind of hard to eat - then i notice its an appetizer. What? Who puts a sliced potato on a toothpick? It was falling apart like there was no tomorrow.
Their pesto spread on a crustini was so good. Their meatball just had the same cream sauce as the potato and it wasn't that good. Maybe because it wasn't what I would have picked.

There was one travel agent there that we talked to and got some books on vacations but thats it.

We talked to a few florists. One seemed promising. All of her stuff looked good, she seemed nice and said she does travel to Lodi. Plus she said she would beat any estimate we got.
Sample of her work:

I realize that I should have taken more pictures of all the stuff. I ended up just taking pictures of things I like. I really like the combination of the different shades of pink roses and those green berries.

She also does centerpieces!

The other florist that was there that we spoke to didn't really go into prices. (which always worries me).

I thought the flowers submerged underwater was pretty neat. It looked really nice.

Aaron and I really liked the pocket fold invitations. I thought we'd do something more simple, traditional. I have never seen or received pocket folds before (except online)..

They do all of the work for us. We give them a list of the addressees and they preprint all the envelopes with their names and addresses so they are in the same font. Plus the reply card is a postcard so it will save us money on postage.

Aaron liked the tree invites:

I really liked these:

Of course they can be different colors:

There was a salon there doing free hair and make-up trials. Since we were so late, They could only do one or the other. So I had them do my hair...

here is their work:

I don't know what is with the random curls attached to my head. There was about six curls attached to the top of my head.. three on each side. After these pictures I took those curls down and just had it curled. I also don't like how they made my bangs go all the way across my forehead. They didn't stay and I kept having to push them aside. See the little break in them, thats where I normally part them. I think it would have looked great like that.

So other than that it was pretty good. When we left, we decided just to go home as it was already 5 and Aaron wanted to do some stuff at home. I've just been going through the piles of brochures and stuff we got. The one thing I dont understand is how high the photographers are!!

$3,000 to $7,000 just to come out and photograph your day. I think thats a lot of money to spend on a gamble that their pictures will come out good? Why can't we spend that money on a nice camera for ourselves and photoshop and just have a savvy friend take some pics? I know for my sisters wedding I think that my pictures came out just as good as the professionals with the exception of some lighting issues and touch-ups.

First bridal show tomorrow

So tomorrow Aaron and I are going to our first bridal show. I'm kind of concerned since most people said that they don't really have them now. Especially since there are two in the SAME city at the SAME time. One is by one company and one is by the other. So I'm not sure who will go to one and who will go to the other, or even if it will even be worth going. I know I probably should wait and go to the really big one in January, but I want some ideas. However, I'm a little excited because I've never been to one.. and I hope its great. I chose one show over the other because they had a huge list of vendors on their website that came to their last show. The one at the other place (which is at a place we looked at for the ceremony/reception site) only had their sponsors on the page - two local bridal magazines and 1 website. Plus I figure their wedding show might be more of a plug for their wedding site, I chose another one at a hotel... which also does weddings, but at least its not the only thing they do.

Makeup?

I went down to San Jose to meet Aaron. He didn't get off work until 5 and it was only 3. So I had two hours to kill. So I went to the mall and walked around. I was looking at the makeup counters and all their counters are really close together. I know smashbox is featured a lot in the bridal magazines, so I went over to look at their stuff. Chanel was next to Smashbox and the Chanel woman came over to help. However, she couldnt really help because the smashbox attendant was on lunch and wouldnt be back for 20 minutes. So I had the Chanel counter put togther a wedding look for me. This is what they came up with:




All I have to say is: must get that mascara and I think the foundation looks really nice. I have a list of all the stuff so I can pick it up later if I like..

The only thing I don't like is with the exception of the mascara and eyeliner, they didn't really add any color at all to my eyes. So they didnt really listen to what I wanted.. something nice with the eyes, because with all the kissing, I dont want the main thing to be the lips cause I dont want to 1. layer lipstick, liner and gloss. I just want to do gloss because I'm afraid of the lipstick outline...
and 2. I dont want to be reapplying makeup all night just so it looks like I have makeup on.