guest list issues

So I went to my mom's today so we could work on printing out the Save the Date notices. While I was there, I figured it was the perfect time to talk to her about how much her extra guests were going to cost. I kind of figured that once she saw that each person's food and drink alone was $65.. not including favors, cake ..etc.

So basically she again demanded to know who was on my list. So I said that its my wedding and I want MY friends there. That we were more than happy to give her ONE table of people. Eventhough by doing this she wasn't really giving us $5000 like she keeps saying she is, she is really only giving us $4350... because I never would invite people that I dont know. Plus that doesn't include the other 20 people she wants to invite.. She doesn't really care that those 30 people are costing us $2000.

I didn't show her the guest list because I don't want her going down MY list and crossing MY guests off. She can cross her own guests off.. but not mine.

Then she starts demanding why Aaron's Dad isn't giving us money - like he needs to chip in because SHE wants to invite her entire work. He isn't inviting ANY personal people - except his best friend and his wife. The money is the reason we want a small wedding. We thought we could just double what my mom gave us and we would be okay.. now what she is giving us isnt even going to cover the food and drinks - especially if she keeps inviting people. I am sooo worried that we are going to end up in debt to cover this more elaborate wedding... or we are going to have to cut something out completely.

So as i'm leaving, she hands me a list of 4 more people she just HAS to invite.

Apparently telling her the cost per person, showing her how much we can afford to invite that is within her budget.. she still just doesn't care if we go into debt. In fact she told us that we should just not get flowers or a photographer to cover the cost.

I'm sorry I'd rather have flowers and a photographer than a bunch of people I do not know at my wedding and that don't know me.

In fact when we were printing out the save the date stuff, she looks at it after its already done and at the magnetand says - "this doesn't have my name on it. How will my friends know who you are?"

Well if they dont know who I am... they don't belong at my wedding.

.. I am going to go crazy.