Bridesmaids Duties?

Since I have had a lot of problems with getting people to help me, do you think it would be rude to send out/hand out some sort of expectations or duties list for my bridesmaids?

I was thinking about doing it when I sent out my bridesmaid invitations, but I was convinced not to by a wedding forum. I think I would have rather them know what they were getting into rather than me being disappointed and/or upset that they didn't want to help with anything.

I thought them going dress shopping to help pick out their dresses would be a given, but now my Maid of Honor (maybe/maybe not) doesn't want to go because she's not getting a say in the dress, so why should she go?

Well to make sure the dress looks good on her - like its not too low cut in the front, its not too low in the back, She's not hanging out, Its not itchy or uncomfortable. I want them to be comfortable. They don't have the necessarily like the dress, but they should be able to wear it without complaints. When I was in my sisters wedding, the dress was itchy and it was so tight in some areas it gave me blisters.

Things I want to include:

- I would appreciate it if they plan on attending all pre-wedding events - rehearsal, shower, bachelorette party..etc.
- I would like help with things like assembling the invitations, place cards, favors, programs, etc.
- They are not expected to get their hair/nails/makeup professionally done, but if they want to, they should let me know so I can make an appointment for them when I make mine.
- They are not expected to wear matching shoes/hairstyles/purse/jewelery etc.
- What time they have to be at the wedding ceremony site and what I expect them to look like when they arrive - ie hair done, make up done, dressed and ready to help me get dressed and ready for pictures.
etc...

I just want to make everything clear so that I don't have anyone else complain about doing something..

or I could just hand out articles from The Knot on Bridesmaid duties:

The bridesmaid is an integral part of any wedding, on hand to comfort, console, multitask, and party hearty at all bridal event(s). Whether it's your first bridesmaid gig or your 50th, here's a cheat sheet of your to-dos.



Offer to help with prewedding tasks. Try to be specific when you volunteer. For example, say, "Would you like me to help you shop for bridesmaid dresses/stuff invitations/pack for the honeymoon?" instead of just, "What can I do?"


Scout out bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry, and other accessories. Pay for the entire ensemble. (Break in your shoes before the wedding day -- that will minimize slipping, blisters, and aching tootsies.)


Help to plan, cohost, and pay for the shower and bachelorette party with other bridesmaids.


If the maid/matron of honor isn't already handling this task, keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (so that the bride/couple can write thank-you notes); maintain RSVP lists.


Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. (Keep abreast of all prewedding parties, and go to as many as possible.)


Run last-minute errands. On the day of the wedding, be on hand to confirm flower delivery times, meet and greet the ceremony officiant, or satisfy junk food cravings.


Stand in the receiving line at the bride's request.


Serve as auxiliary hostess at the reception by introducing guests, making sure they know where the bar is located, and inviting them to sign the guest book.


Hit the dance floor when the music kicks in. Dance with groomsmen during the formal first-dance sequence. Also, be on the lookout for toe-tapping guests who might need encouragement and/or a dance partner.


Give the maid/matron of honor a break by helping to carry the bride's train whenever necessary. Bustle the train before dancing begins, and be ready to help fix it if it comes unhooked. Accompany the bride on visits to the restroom, if asked.


Purchase a wedding present perhaps with one or several of the other bridesmaids. This provides more buying power, and two heads are better than one when it comes to gift ideas. Sometimes the entire bridesmaid troupe pitches in for one knock-her-socks-off wedding gift.


Be a trooper, no matter how stressful the ordeal becomes. Try not to complain about the bridesmaid dress -- even if the color is horrendous. Be gracious and tactful.


Provide plenty of emotional support during the planning and on the wedding day.

Weight Loss

So Kerry sends me a text message asking if I mind if she loses some weight.

So I was like why would i mind? Good luck though!

So she said that since she's in the wedding she just wanted to make sure.

haha

So I text messaged her back that I demand that she gain weight, lots of weight and that she better stop off at krispy kreme on the way home

Happiness

I was texting with Rachel today just making sure that she knows what time and place to meet now that Maya isn't going...

She texted me back saying that she is so excited to go and she can't wait til Saturday.

I wrote her back and told her that made me so happy to hear that someone other than me was excited.

:-D

That just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and very very happy that someone else is excited to go. :)

So far its me, Kerry and Donna until the last shop and/or whenever we are done, but Rachel has to leave Sacramento at 2. Maybe we could all find stuff and be done at 2, too. That would be awesome.

I might meet my friend Jennifer for drinks on Saturday night because I might need a drink after dress shopping.

However I think that as long as everyone going is excited and happy to go, then we should have a fun day. I was kind of hoping that if Maya went she didn't complain too much, but now that she's not going, I think it will be better. is that bad to say?

Oh and I was talking with my aunt who is really crafty, about centerpieces today. I'm kind of hoping that we can DIY our centerpieces for less than the florist wants. She said she had been wondering when I was going to ask her to help because she has a lot of ideas and etc. Plus she asked my colors as my cousin's birthday and now she has a whole list of ideas about flowers etc.

Yay. :)

Photographer meeting

So I went up to Elk Grove to meet with Holly Clark from Clark and Corona. Just to be safe incase she didn't show, I also met with Emily Heizer of Heizer Photography.

Holly Clark was 20 minutes late. She did bring all of her stuff including her contract and some photo albums. She said that they were willing to travel for free because of the issues, and that their engagement session would be free. She seemed really nice and fun. I really liked that there was two photographers and the price seemed nice too.

After that, I headed over to a different starbucks to meet with Emily Heizer. She was also late. She brought a lot of photo albums. She seemed kind of strict though. She said she is always on time (well not always), and if she is scheduled to be there for 4 hours, she is there for four hours on the dot, and not a minute more. She told some story about how she was scheduled to shoot a wedding and the bride was an hour and a half late. They had 2 hours booked with her, so she shot some of their ceremony and then left.

I asked why she just didnt ask if they wanted to extend her contract and she said that she had booked someone else later in the day. So I said well what if something comes up and you are late and you've double booked the day? She said that has never happened, but if that did happen, she would just charge them for the time that she is there. I can understand that you want to make sure you get as much money as you can.. but double booking weddings if you are the photographer is kind of wrong. I know if I was in that situation, I would want to extend the contract.

Anyways, I asked about her terms and she wanted a lot of money up front and she seemed kind of strict about everything. She didnt really seem friendly. I thought some of her ceremony shots were blurry - infact most of her photos when people are in motion were blurry. Which is why its always good to see full weddings. I do kind of like her still work better than clark and corona, but I think that the two photographers is too good to pass up.

Now she's not going

So I left my phone at home today during work because well I completely forgot my purse all together. When I got home I noticed Maya had called a couple of times and then left a message. She said to call her back, so I did.

Apparently her church has approved her daughters baptism finally. So they scheduled it for next weekend... which is cool and everything because they've been waiting forever to get approved because they couldn't find Bella anyone to be a godparent that fit the church's strict rules. So that is going to be sunday. So she decides that she can't go on Saturday because now she needs all the time to get ready for Bella's baptism the next day.

I'm glad that they were able to get it straightened out. I'm a little more annoyed that they scheduled it for a day because "she already had that weekend off". Well she had that weekend off because of me.

So then she's asks if I'm going to come over and help her get ready on Saturday and be there on Sunday.

Well um.. no because I'm going shopping with the bridesmaids on Saturday and Sunday I have to work, so I can't even go to the baptism.

So then she gets all pissy with me because I'm choosing to go look at "silly dresses" over her daughters baptism and that I'm not even going to be there.

So I said that I can't back out on everyone because its already planned and that I have to work, so I can't go on sunday. I could probably meet them somewhere at 6 when I get off work, but since the baptism starts at 3, I doubt they will still be there.

She just gets all mad and says that I'm not understanding of her situation and she has a lot to do, and again that I should just pick out the dresses on my own. Since she's not getting an opinion no one should..etc.

How fucking ridiculous. I just feel like I'm not that important to her and she doesn't really want to be involved. I actually cried when i got off the phone because I was so upset that she was cancelling on me afer all the s*** she has put me through complaining about this and complaining about that.. and bitching about the dress.

Do I ask her to step down as maid of honor so I can have someone who wants to help have the special title? or do I just let it be? I just don't know how many ways I can stress that I really want her to be involved and she just isn't.

Maid of honor issues ... again

So my friend Maya is my Maid of Honor and tonight I went over to hang out for a little bit with her since I never see her since she works weird hours and plus she'd rather spend her days off with her family, which I understand.

but this is my wedding, my only wedding hopefully... and I need some support..

So I bring my little binder with me so I can show her pictures of the dress I bought. I also ask her about the cake design I was looking at to see if she liked it.

Then we start talking about going to look at bridesmaid dresses next week. I've pretty much planned a whole day trip so we can take our time looking, hit more than one shop (I planned to hit three stores that sell completely different designers) and make sure we find a dress, thats not a billion dollars that people can live with.. I get the final say, but I want them to be able to wear the dress and not be completely uncomfortable.

I sent them invitations. I said in the invitations that they didn't HAVE TO go with us, but I really wanted them to be able to try on the dresses we're considering and give their honest opinion. If they are extremely uncomfortable, I want to know. I gave them all about a month and a half notice. I also sent them an itinerary with what I was kind of expecting. Including times that I was expecting we were going to be gone, I've been dress shopping, I've had people try on dresses before and I know how long it can take.

We may all like a dress but come to find out that the colors it comes in are limited.

So she said why can't you just pull out all the blue dresses and we'll just try on those.

Because - dresses that come in blue, may not all have samples in blue.
I think each store will take probably up to an hour, maybe more. Depending on how fast people try stuff on, going through the dresses, looking etc. I don't think thats too much to ask. We could really break the dress shopping up into shorter trips, but honestly, since it has been so extremly hard to get people to even go dress shopping for me, much less dress shopping for them.

Honestly, if they want to go, then they can go. I am not forcing them to go. I asked them nicely to go. I hate feeling like I'm being unreasonable. I hate feeling like I can't do anything right. I don't like feeling like I'm being unfair for wanting them to help. I could go shopping alone and pick out something that I likeand who cares what anyone else thinks. I just think I'm being nice by giving them an opportunity to pick something out that they will be able to live with. Like if the dress is scratchy or hard to sit in or too lowcut or something, i will need to know.

I just feel really annoyed that she's been complaining this whole time about everything.. color choices, length, etc. Here I am giving her the opportunity to go and make sure its a dress she can live with and her response:

Why can't you just pick a dress out and we'll all buy it since we have no say anyways?

*headdesk*

Seriously!!!!

Why do weddings bring out the worst in all of my loved ones. I swear some people have just been there for me, and some are just annoying me to death. I wish Maya could be one of those that just helped me without question.

For example:

I was showing Maya my dress, and I told her that she would have to come with me to one of my fittings so that the store can show her how to lace it up and how to bustle the dress, so that someone knows exactly what to do when it comes time to get me dressed and ready.

her response?

You're not hiring someone to come help you with your dress? I have to help you get ready? I didn't know that.

....??

I was like well thats really one of the things the maid of honor is supposed to do. She just seemed utterly appalled that there was even one more thing that she was expected to do.

Why can't anything go right?!?!

I kind of regret my decision to make her my maid of honor because I honestly need someone to help me out more than she is doing. I know she has other responsibilites... but is it too much to ask for some help once in awhile with stuff that is going on in my life without getting such a horrible response? I went to her house early and helped her get ready for her vow renewal. I don't see why expecting the samething from her, is getting this response...

Yay! I bought my dress

I finally!! found and bought a wedding dress!
YAY!

The good news is it was on sale for $100 off. So that made my sister happy. So it fit into our budget nicely.

Stood up

I was sitting at Starbucks waiting for the photographer Holly Clark from Clark and Corona to show up today.. and she doesn't. I sat there for half an hour. This is after I drove to Elk Grove to meet them half way.

Luckily Kerry came over and we had lunch.. so it wasn't a wasted trip.

When I got home, I checked my email and no email - no call.

So I emailed her and asked her what was up. She emailed back and said that she decided since it was going to snow, to leave for the wedding shoot they had up in tahoe early and forgot to email me. So she said she still wanted to meet and we set something else up. She said she would give us a free engagement session for the mixup.

David's Bridal Wedding Dresses

So I thought before I buy the other dress, I'd go check out the new dresses at Davids Bridal... again, because their spring line just came out....

and... I think I found two I like...

David's Bridal dress...






They can put cap sleeves on it too:


Galina Dress












So what do you think?
The galina dress was 5 sizes too small, but they were able to clip it on me. They said that if I ordered the galina dress in my size and i didn't like it, I could order the second dress. It makes really want to just do that, since I really like both of them. I think the Galina dress is pretty and its more unique, but I'm not sure how flattering it will be on me because the dress was waay small. I think if I could get the dress in my size, and then switch them out, I'll be okay... What do you think?

They both are super light and really comfy. I really liked the corset back on the second dress and the sweetheart neckline and draping was flattering...

Clark and Corona

I'm going to try to meet with this photographer

Clark and Corona

Wedding Gallery Highlights

A whole wedding and engagement session gallery

This is the package we are looking at:

8 hour shooting
2 Photographers
Getting Ready Photos
Ceremony Photos
Wedding Formals
Reception Photos
CD of all digital negatives with custom designed cover
DV to view slideshow of photos on TV
Photos will be hosted in our gallery with online printing available
1 - 12" x 18" Print
2 - 8" x 12" Prints
80 - 4" x 6" Prints

The absentee fiance

Aaron has been gone since beginning of the month... now he's not coming back on friday... he's coming back next week now...maybe. It's still all up in the air. I hope he's not in Norway forever. :(

I'm getting bored and lonely over here all by myself with the cats.

:(

Here is Aaron walking away at the airport

My little conehead

I took the boys to be neutered yesterday. Last night I noticed Harry's incision was bleeding. I called my vet and they said if it wasn't gushing out (it wasn't) just to clean it off and bring him in the morning. So I called the Emergency Vet anyway and asked them if they thought I should bring him in.

They said it sounded like it was okay, that is normal for some bleeding, but if I was worried I could bring him in for $120. The lady was very insistent that it sounded okay, but I could if I wanted to "waste" my money. So I didn't end up bringing him in. I woke up at 7 am and forced put them into the carrier and went down to the vet and asked if it was okay. They said he had licked or bitten his incision. So they closed it and put some pain meds and antibiotic cream on it and gave me a cone.

poor thing was walking around my room when I got home banging into stuff and walking backwards. I felt bad but I couldn't help but laugh a few times. He seems okay now and is sleeping. I can probably take it off tomorrow.

Here is a picture of Harry with his Elizabethan Collar...

Stockton Bridal Show

So I went to the Stockton Bridal Show today and I got a lot of information. Mostly it was the same vendors as last time.. :(

but I got a coupon for tuxedos, a really pretty bracelet for my wedding I love my aunt Doris who went with me. She bought it for me because I loved it so much!


and I got some more info on photographers and stuff.

Plus I got to see some bouquets and I picked out a few I thought looked nice:

This is one has roses, freesia and mini calla lillies and it has some crystal pins stuck in it too.


I loved the way the freesia looked with the roses. I'm not too sure about the lillies.

This one is Roses, calla lillies, eucalyptus and fern


Its weird because I have always thought I'd want a colorful bouquet, I've looked at the colorful bouquets.. but the ones that I loved the most were the white flowers with greens. Maybe I could stick some pretty blue flowers in there too and that would be more of something I'd like.

I also liked this table decoration of crystals, candles and mirrors. It sparkled so much. It was so pretty.

Lazy rainy day

I'm sooo glad that the rains have died down. The cats were glued to the glass door all day staring at the rain whipping around and the wind howling.

It was funny so I took a picture of it:


Other than that I didn't really leave the house all day. I basically lounged around, watched tv, played with the kitties, and did some random wedding stuff.

In other words.. it was a lazy day.